I woke at 4am, ill, so ill, soon as I lifted my head I felt the dizzy weakness and my ears ringing and burning with fever. Swinging my legs over the bed was like trying to heave a couple of huge lead weights with no energy, and standing up almost impossible. I forced myself downstairs, sliding against and peeling off the banister and walls for support, like a walking zombie, my mind floated down following (hopefully) my body.
I was empty devoid of all emotion, I had been drained, sucked dry by illness. I drifted like a ghost into the kitchen and lifted my weakened limbs to grab the panadol and swallowed 2 then another 2 with water to get my temperature down some. Collapsing onto the sofa, I curled my bones into the foetal position and lay in my own agony. My skin was sticking to the leather, leaving a wet patch every time i moved, and creating a new one. Thank goodness I only seem to get this flu thing like once a year cos it sucks so painfully, I wallow in my own self pity like a hippo in the mud. A hit later and the pain subsides, I have no appetite just an unquenchable thirst, more for drugs than water. Regaining some sense of normality I return to bed to try and sleep what is left of the night.
So after a week of fluey rotten hell, I have spoken to my key worker and am officially on the list for a place in the local nuthouse to detox. Well my understanding is the NHS psychiatric hospital in my area has a drug and drink detox wing, but in fact you are mixed in with the general population, to suffer freely with an audience, and the rehab to follow. I'm ready and willing, Ive spent time in a private psych hospital before and seen all the 'sites' on offer, jeez I am one myself, so bring it on. Time to live, time to recover.
