Sunday 14 October 2012

scouse love cont....

I went over to the window and peered out at my new strange surroundings. The small estate seemed neat and well kept, each with a small garden at the front, now bathed in twilight. I found the front door and let myself out, ahhh with each step I was being stabbed with chills, I wondered if i may still be dreaming as i felt as if i were walking through marshmallow but no this rattle was very real, too real, and all too familiar.
Shivers shot through me and i felt goosebumps all over, it was as if all my senses were heightened, despite feeling so sick i felt ultra alert.

I made my way to the edge of the estate and onto the main road. If memory serves me, there should be a 'bad estate' a few minutes walk away, and where theres a bad area.....theres drugs i thought! Although i didn't want to get my hopes up too much, as with anything involving drugs one always knows that until said drugs are in your greedy, sweaty little palms, there is little point in getting in getting excited, or feeling any sense of relief, as virtually anything can happen....and it usually does!! I stopped every few yards to double over in pain, I felt like there was a storm inside my stomach, with waves of pulsating agony creeping through my lower back. I blinked as head lights whooshed past, leaving light traces before my eyes, my vision was blurred as my eyes streamed. The cold stung my face and wow did i feel sorry for my self inflicted agony! Oh such torment, why do I do this? But the desperate, penetrating,urgent desire for more soon pushed any other thoughts aside. i was on a mission, a possibly impossible mission!

i rounded the corner and the flats rose up before me. An eerry silence hung in the air, I looked around and realised there was no one about. My heart sunk, but a small part of me was still in anticipation with the thought of finding something, somewhere. I slumped onto a low brick wall, pulled my hood up and folded my arms as another deep chill shivered its way through me.
'Ay las whats happenin?' I heard a voice from behind me, startled i nearly fell from my perch. A tall white lad, also with his hood up approached me. I felt embarrassment and shame at my situation, I was looking for drugs there was no was no sugar coating my junkydom it was laid bare for all to see.
I thought the situation called for getting strait to the point and fuk the small talk. I asked him if he knew where i could get some b, he said his friend 'had got' and he was on his way back from making a drop. My heart raced, ok i thought, this is either wonderful luck.....or i am about to get robbed n ripped.
I followed him up lots of concrete stairs, where the stench of urine, smoke and urban filth stung my nostrils and hung heavy in my chest. I waited as he knocked at a door adjacent to a long balcony, i stood gripped by fear and over whelming desire, please let this be ok i prayed. He asked how much i wanted, half a gee i replied, i handed him £25 and he disappeared into the flat, leaving me outside and closing the door behind him. Great I thought, if he doesnt come back, im on my own theres really fuk all i can do! But 5 minutes later he did return, and unwrapped some rizzla to find something which looked and smelled like it should.

2 comments:

  1. Fuckin hell you were lucky there ! I've spent hours walking around looking for gear.
    It's good to see you back !

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  2. lol, i think i spent hours laying in that sitting room in the dark but had to speed things up!! But yes it was one of my more lucky times, others have been far worse, but thats another story !! xx

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